That woman in blue apron…

Lost in my thoughts I go out… Find her standing right in front of the door… I look at her indifferently… Overlooking casually, I look at the sky… sip my coffee… talk to myself… wonder about my life and come back.

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This time I enter with a smile… I see a couple of known faces… say a hello to them… share a joke and laugh…  look at the sky… see her noticing me… ignore her and come back.

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I am deprived of sleep due to very hectic days at work and home… drag myself there… decide to ignore everyone present… sip my coffee… still observe her… look at the sky and come back.

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This time apathetically I go out… cannot help but notice her… she is thin, feeble and shabby… she has an expression of inability… I conflict with myself if I should ask to help but decide against it… do my normal stuff and come back.

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It has been a good day… I have an exciting evening to look for… with a smile on my face I go there… I see her look at the sky… I look at the sky too… I look at her… see her tears… observe the vulnerability on her face… give her a smile which she declines to accept…wonder what is it that she is worried about… talk to myself and come back.

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These are few instances from my lonely trips to the break-out area at my work place where I have sporadically noticed a woman who appeared to be from the housekeeping staff. She was skinny, puny and seemed overloaded with responsibilities. She always wore a printed saree and a mandated blue colored apron. She was short and her hair always unkempt.

I have caught her observing employees for she seemed to be interested to know them. It looked as if she wanted to live their life. Whenever I have looked into her eyes, she has looked back with expectations and hope. I was never able to interpret what she wanted to converse secretly through her eyes. Many times like that day when I saw her last, I wanted to ask her if she required any assistance but felt awkward. I had developed a silent soft corner for her and I guess she had a similar connect with me.

After I dint see her for some days, I wanted to enquire with other housekeeping staff but I dint know her name and I could not describe her the way I observed her. So I could not find who she was, where and why did she go. All I was left with was a feeling of regret of not speaking to her and letting her express. May be I dint know her language, may be I knew her before, may be she dint notice me at all, may be she needed me desperately or may be I lost an opportunity to help a deprived beautiful heart.